NBA Preview

By Mike Walsh

Eastern Conference

Atlantic Division

Boston- With obvious improvement, we’ll see if the PGA Tour (Pierce, Garnett, Allen) can be a three-man show or if it takes more. Rumors of them signing Cassell and his gigantic balls could be a plus.

Toronto- They are good at every position. Bosh is an emerging superstar. They are really good for the East but they would be 10th in the west.

New Jersey- One of these years Jason Kidd is going to go down another gear. If that happens this year, the laptop thief is not ready to run the show. Plus there is the inevitable Vince injury.

New York- I’m not sold on the Eddie Curry/Zack Randolph front line. Sure they can score and out-eat any other front line at a buffet, but can they play defense and not commit a homicide or die of heart failure?

Philadelphia- Trying to think of a bright spot….
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I got nothin’. Thank you Billy King!

Central

Chicago- A lot hinges on the Kobe saga. The Bulls are one of the few teams with enough assets to trade for Kobe. If it happens, we’ll see if they have enough left to contend. If they stay put, they are young, freakishly talented and have another year of experience.

Detroit- Prince’s ankle is a concern and everyone is a year older, but they play very well together and can still play great team defense.

Cleveland- The Lebrons missed their chance last spring. Now he has to try to carry one of the crummiest rosters in recent memory back to the playoffs. Also he moved into his house that has a casino inside and he has a baby, so he’s probably not getting as much sleep as he should.

Milwaukee- I have no idea what to expect from Yi since he would only workout against chairs in the pre-draft workouts. Let’s play it safe and put them here.

Indiana- They were kind enough to take on the Warriors trash that they were taking out last year. I can’t think of one good thing to say about this roster. Jermaine O’neal might be the first player to walk off the court during the middle of a game and never comeback.

Southeast

Miami- If Wade and Shaq are healthy that should be almost enough by itself. Employee #8 was traded to Minnesota, as if Wolves fans weren’t depressed enough. If Shaq is out of shape and disinterested forget we had this conversation.

Orlando- The best frontline in the East. OK, that’s not really a bold statement, but still. Who is going to guard Rashard, Hedo and Dwight Howard in the East?

Atlanta- If you pick in the lottery for 17 straight years you’re bound to be good at some point right?...um, right?! Well this is the year that the Hawks sneak up on teams. And really, the East is just bad.

Washington- Hibachi and Jamison need more help from the role players, but this team was starting to click with Caron. I love the addition of Nick Young, but with DeShawn Stevenson, don’t bring your high school daughters to any games.

Charlotte- Every year you look at their roster of young, athletic talent and think they might be good. Then, every year, they are terrible.


Western Conference

Northwest

Utah- I hate them. You hate them. Everyone hates them. But they are good, even if they grab, hold and push in the back to get rebounds. If I sound like a bitter Warriors fan, I am.

Denver- They will be the exact same as last year. A.I. was not the answer to their championship puzzle.

Portland- They would be a top 6 team with a healthy Oden. Instead, they are team with a lot of pieces that will show flashes this year.

Seattle- So bad. I am angry just looking at their roster. How many points do they expect Durant to score a night? 45? 50?

Minnesota- Vomit

Pacific

Phoenix- Really good. They got screwed by an out dated rule last spring. If they can keep Marion and Stoudemire happy they can make one more run at the Western Conference title, which is also the NBA title.

Golden State- I know a lot of people think the Warriors were a flash in the pan last year. They won’t miss J-Rich has much as people think (he’s been hurt for 2 years, so they already know how to play without him). This team loves playing together and it will show this season. That is unless Stephen Jackson loses his mind.

Lakers- What do you do when you have the best basketball player alive who is hyper competitive and in his prime? Surround him with crap and frustrate him until he demands to be traded, right? That’s what Dr. Buss thinks anyway.

Sacramento- It turns out Brad Miller isn’t dead. Unfortunately, Mike Bibby is close to being dead if Ron Artest has anything to say about it. Kevin Martin is good, somehow. They would be a 4 or 5 seed in the East.

Clippers- No Brand, no Livingston, Cassell is 72 years old, and Kaman’s tributary Hulkamania hair has gone too far. I would call them the worst team in the West if not for the Wolves.

Southwest

San Antonio- Tim Duncan might be a robot. Best coach, best team defense in the West and they can all execute on offense when it gets down to crunch time.

Dallas- It will be interesting to see how they recover from last year’s playoff debacle. Let’s hope Mark Cuban doesn’t cry on camera ever again. They have too much talent to fall much, but the first round of the playoffs will be interesting. Especially if they play the W’s again.

Houston- They actually added some talent to surround T-Mac and Yao with Bonzi and Scola. Then they went and added Steve Francis, so maybe it’s a wash. Just kidding. Remember how good Francis was at Maryland and his first few years in the league? Huh.

Memphis- I love Conley Jr. and Pau. The jury is out on Rudy Gay. I’m just saying… they could be good.

New Orleans- Chris Paul is really good. Too bad he’s on the Hornets. I am not sold on Chandler or Peja. They will not be different players this year than they were before. Peja misses the Good Feet store.